Plan ahead.
I went out last night for the first time in a while, I had a great night, I laughed to my hearts content, which is somthing I haven't done in ages. It felt so good to laugh and have a normal night out with my friends. Then my friend goes "guys don't get so stressed your only stressed if you let yourself be stressed" in my own mind I was like as if you don't get stressed by choice your faced with changes or experiences that can stress you out, but then again its up to you whether you let it stress you out. I've been thinking about that all day, there was truth to his words.😂
I try not to get stressed anymore or stress myself out because it's bad for my health and it makes my "stroke" symptoms worse, but it's hard to try and relax yourself under stressful situations. I'm still learning how to not get stressed. Just earlier today my brother said I was being impulsive and I stressed myself out because I got so defensive. It's hard for anyone in life to not get stressed.
I just get stressed easily when my family call out my problems or difficulties I have now. I get so defensive and annoyed cause it annoys me that I didn't notice it and they have to tell me "Ree calm down your getting impulsive or Ree you know it's not a good idea to go cause your not great" I just get sick of hearing it so I become defensive and snappy. Once I've realised, I feel terrible cause I had no idea I was doing it in that moment. The worst thing is doing something days before or talking to someone days before and then totally forgetting what you talked about or did, you end up feeling like a right idiot especially if it's someone who doesn't know you it makes it worse your so embarrassed and feel like crawling in to a hole. Sometimes I worry and wonder that when I start collage how I'll get on doing exams and stuff but I'm sure I can work around it.
Some days I feel like I haven't learnt how to deal with my symptoms as well as I should have.....most days are difficult and some days you feel like you take 1000 steps back rather than forward, you feel like you have to restart recovery again especially when you have a very bad day.
Sometimes just getting through that bad day means everything because you feel like it will never end, you're numb and just get used to getting by because most days you do it like breathing, it's so easy but you have no choice to just get by because you have more bad days than good but one good day where you're full of energy is worth all of those bad days.
I try not to get stressed anymore or stress myself out because it's bad for my health and it makes my "stroke" symptoms worse, but it's hard to try and relax yourself under stressful situations. I'm still learning how to not get stressed. Just earlier today my brother said I was being impulsive and I stressed myself out because I got so defensive. It's hard for anyone in life to not get stressed.
I just get stressed easily when my family call out my problems or difficulties I have now. I get so defensive and annoyed cause it annoys me that I didn't notice it and they have to tell me "Ree calm down your getting impulsive or Ree you know it's not a good idea to go cause your not great" I just get sick of hearing it so I become defensive and snappy. Once I've realised, I feel terrible cause I had no idea I was doing it in that moment. The worst thing is doing something days before or talking to someone days before and then totally forgetting what you talked about or did, you end up feeling like a right idiot especially if it's someone who doesn't know you it makes it worse your so embarrassed and feel like crawling in to a hole. Sometimes I worry and wonder that when I start collage how I'll get on doing exams and stuff but I'm sure I can work around it.
Some days I feel like I haven't learnt how to deal with my symptoms as well as I should have.....most days are difficult and some days you feel like you take 1000 steps back rather than forward, you feel like you have to restart recovery again especially when you have a very bad day.
Sometimes just getting through that bad day means everything because you feel like it will never end, you're numb and just get used to getting by because most days you do it like breathing, it's so easy but you have no choice to just get by because you have more bad days than good but one good day where you're full of energy is worth all of those bad days.
You may even start the day off great and in a matter of seconds or minutes it can change and you become filled with emotion and pain. That's how I struggle to plan things, I hardly plan things just incase I can't go through with them due to my health. The thing I'm planning at the moment which I'm hoping my health will be on my side is Electric Picnic weekend with my friends, I'very never been to a festival and have always wanted to go. But even then I have to be prepared that if I feel ill at any point during it I'll have to go home, so I still can't be as carefree as I wish like my friends but I'm okay with that I'll be happy out if I get through 1 day of the festival (fingers crossed I'll be able for the whole weekend😂😂).
Hope you all had a great weekend. ❤💜
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