Ballybunion

My Mother and I went to Ballybunion on Saturday, we were windswept and had a lovely pub lunch. We rarely go to Ballybunion, my mother decided to take me  because it was her day off and on Friday all I was doing was lying in bed, to be honest  I was feeling sorry for myself (which rarely happens). I didn't talk to anyone all day, I was sick and tired of the pain and sick and tired of where my life is now, the fact it was two years ago yesterday since I had the stroke and I know nothing more about why I had one, I feel like I'm in this endless circle of pain, hospital and recovery. Two years ago I never would have believe I'd write a blog to share my story nand I'm so happy I did because the amount of kind messages I am getting makes me feel great as I might be helping someone else who can relate to me, but I also can't cope and deal with the fact that my health is really no better two years down the line, yes I go out with my friends, yes I seem great and fine when you talk to me but I have to worry a lot more than people my age, I always have to be sensible, I have to think if I do something will it effect me tomorrow or later, if I walk too much like I did yesterday I have to make sure I'm doing nothing the day after  as my left leg is tired and won't work great due to all the walking I did. I pushed myself and forced myself to walk which is something I should not have done. regretting it today😂😂

That's another thing I struggle with is my weight, I've never been skinny but being on my medication increases my weight and the fact that I can't exercise as much as most people makes its harder to keep the pounds off. I gained about nearly 3 stone in the past two years, it upsets me because my friends at headway who take medication which increases their weight and it  makes me sad because not only are we faced with this huge life changing event that turns our lives upside down but we also then have to worry about weight gain due to our medication and the fact that we can't keep it off by exercising, people say to me sometimes well it's easy just start walking and I wish it was that simple but for people with disabilities or health conditions where daily activities can sometimes be a struggle it's not easy, its frustrating having a brain injury, knowing at one point you could do all those things you could walk miles and now pacing yourself is the hardest daily difficulty I've had and I will always have.

 I'm 19 and I hate that I have to tell myself to pace myself when I'd love to go drinking with my friends or I'd love to go to festivals with them and even just having a girly night, sometimes I can't do that because of the pressure in my head, if my head is bad all I can do is sit in a room on my own, doing nothing, Recovering. 

I'm sick of resting and recovering, id love to not have this worry but I believe I was given it for a reason and I've yet to figure it out. Maybe this was the reason to start this to help others like me.   

I know when I post on this blog its mostly negative things, I don't mean it to be, but things like this living with health conditions they aren't positive times, there are more negatives than positives to it., I want people to read my blog and not get upset or feel sorry for me, I want them to try understand it more and  I want to help others but to help other I have to be honest about how bad things get but how in the end you come out the other side happy and okay. 💜💜

I took some photos when my mother and I were walking in Ballybunion on the beach, there was a crazy man in swim shorts swimming in the sea. He was fair brave I wouldn't do it in this weather, the breeze was chilling, my mother and I both got so wind swept. 😂😂😂 I'm going to try and sleep now as I hardly got any sleep last night 😂 Thanks for reading. 💜