Irritable.

I felt really ill on Sunday and Monday, I was in an awful lot of pain I couldn't do anything, especially on Monday, I hadn't slept much Sunday night as the pain kept waking me up, made me irritable and uncomfortable in my own skin, I literally wanted to rip my own skin off I just couldn't deal with the pain. Dad woke me up at around 8 as I usually go to Headway on Monday's but I couldn't I knew it would be a day that the pain would get worse especially as I didn't get much sleep. 

At around three I was so fed up, I was sick of the pain, sick of always being in pain that I cried a little to myself, I rarely cry. I knew I had to go to the doctor, I couldn't and can't live my life in pain suffering, unable to move some days because its so bad....so finally the doctor gave me some strong medication (due to the fact that my mother didn't want to leave unless they gave me something😂). But she said I also have a sinus infection and that if I ever get an infection of any kind or a common cold it would effect me more and cause me more pain due to the stroke/brain injury (that was something I wasn't happy hearing), It sucks, it will always suck but I like many others in my situation I  have no choice but to deal with it.😁 It does get annoying and frustrating though because well I don't want to have sever pain down my left side when I have something as common as a cold, it's horrible because I'd like to be healthy and I'd like to not have a brain injury. I have accepted what has happened to me but some days it still does suck, I struggle and I wish my life was simple and different. I know I'm always going to have those thoughts from time to time because my life had changed dramatically, I haven't gone down the path I wished I had, this is my new path, a harder path but a more meaningful one, I have met and spoken to amazing, inspiring friendly people who make me feel so grateful and help me accept what has happened and help me appreciate how far I've come these past two years. 

I also have found that my hearing is more sensitive, like the other day my dad and brother were talking, they weren't talking loudly or anything but to me it sounded like they were shouting. Also  the other day I was sitting on the couch with my parents and I could hear this ticking noise and I was like 'can you hear that', both of my parents replied 'What? hear what?', it's crazy as I realised it was the ticking of the clock in the sitting room and even over the noise of the television I could her the ticking, my dad joked and said 'that's your new super human power after the stroke'😂😂.

It's how do I put it, it's like it irritates my mind, it goes in but it doesn't get processed so it just feels like the noise is shouting at me from inside my head for a minute or two until I go to a quiet room or if I go into a room on my own where there is no one to talk to. That's why when I'm having a very bad day I just isolate myself because having a conversation and processing things is a definite No No!😂

I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else has this problem? I also wonder what do you do to help these situations? 💜💜

Hope you're all having a great week.💜💜